Be it enacted by the Legislature of West Virginia:So where's the tax angle?
That the Code of West Virginia, 1931, as amended, be amended by adding thereto a new article, designated §47-25-1, to read as follows:
ARTICLE 25. BARBIE DOLLS.
§47-25-1. Unlawful sale of Barbie dolls. It shall be unlawful in the state to sell "Barbie" dolls and other similar dolls that promote or influence girls to place an undue importance on physical beauty to the detriment of their intellectual and emotional development.
NOTE: The purpose of this bill is to ban the sale of Barbie dolls and other similar dolls.
The tax angle is this. People do all sorts of things that are detrimental to the development of important skills and traits. Unless the behavior infringes on another person's rights, it is not the practice in this country to criminalize the behavior, though surely some exceptions to that general principle exist somewhere. Instead, there is a long tradition of imposing taxes, or user fees, on behaviors or materials that contribute to detrimental consequences. Smoking eventually destroys brain cells, directly or indirectly, and thus impairs intellectual skills. Excessive drinking has the same effect. Gambling poses a variety of risks to intellectual and emotional development. Certain foods, for example, those heavy in transfats, damage circulatory systems so that nourishment provided to brain cells declines, ultimately triggering diseases that cause intellectual decline. Proposals have been circulated to impose "sin taxes" on fast food, carbon-based fuels, and ammunition, and furs.
So why not deal with this concern with a tax on Barbie dolls? Imagine the stimulus to the economy when Mattel brings out the "Barbie the Enrolled Agent" line of accessories. Undeniably, such a tax would make Barbie dolls less affordable for children in families with lower incomes. Yet somehow lower-income families figure out how to purchase tobacco and alcohol, so perhaps a Barbie doll tax would compel some people to give up smoking so their children can have Barbie dolls.
Experience teaches us that when a state imposes a user fee, sales tax, or other imposition on a product, consumers will seek to make their purchases elsewhere. For example, tales abound of Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board agents watching for vehicles with Pennsylvania license plates parked outside major beverage stores in the District of Columbia and elsewhere. A tax on Barbie dolls might encourage West Virginians to shop in neighboring states. I'm sure the neighboring states would appreciate the economic stimulus, for when people head out to find a cheaper Barbie, they'll surely make other purchases outside of West Virginia that otherwise would have been made in-state. But this effect is no different from the effect of the proposed bill, which would compel West Virginians to seek Barbie dolls by making purchases in adjacent states or through the internet. The proposed statute does not ban possession of Barbie dolls. Wouldn't that be amazing? Imagine someone being denied permission to sit for the bar exam because when they were 8 years old they were convicted of possessing a Barbie doll. Perhaps possession of multiple Barbie dolls would bring longer prison terms?
Pardon my not-so-disguised sarcasm. Doesn't the West Virginia legislature have more important things to do? But lets' suppose for a moment that the notion of banning the sales of Barbie dolls because they presumably warp the minds of girls with respect to beauty and brains is a good one. What about Ken dolls? Ought not boys be protected from dolls that warp their minds with respect to brains and looks? What about items other than dolls? Perhaps the sale of mirrors could be outlawed because they encourage people to check themselves out before heading out, all in the interest of looking good to get attention. What about the sale of cosmetics? Don't they exist simply to alter a person's appearance in order to improve looks? And why the emphasis on the supposed conflict between beauty and brains, a conflict that has been disproven time and time again. Ought not Delegate Eldridge be more concerned about violence? How many people have killed or been killed with a Barbie doll or on account of a Barbie doll? Ought not there be a ban on the sale of action figures that encourage violence? How about "It shall be unlawful in the state to sell items that promote or influence people to place an undue importance on fisticuffs and other violent physical approaches to solving problems to the detriment of the development of negotiation and compromising skills."
But, perhaps there is a silver lining in this barbed cloud. Anyone who has dealt with, conversed with, or knows a lawyer understands that the phrase "other similar dolls" will open up all sorts of opportunities for lawyers. It's an economic stimulus, particularly welcome at a time when lawyers are losing jobs and law graduates are struggling to find work. There are all sorts of types of dolls. Is a Miss Piggy doll within "other similar dolls"? How about a "Chatty Cathy" doll? Whether the legislature bans "other similar dolls" or imposes a tax on "other similar dolls," the hours that need to be invested answering these sorts of questions will keep lawyers busy for quite some time. "Your Honor, my client contends that the item in question is a mannequin and not a doll, and thus is not subject to tax."
In the meantime, it's time to check out the proper legal and tax treatment of voodoo dolls. Perhaps a pin-sticking tax?